This is going to seem slightly ironic, as I'm about to bitch about people bitching, but this will make sense, I swear. My problem is with people that bitch about their life. Here's what I have to say.
So your life sucks, you can't get any, your friends left you, you can't get a job, you're gaining weight, you never have any energy anymore, you can't stop eating those twinkies, and even your dog hates you.
Cry me a fucking river, build a bridge, and get over it.
I'll let you in on a little secret: no one cares. That's right, no one cares. Your friends will leave you, your fish will die, your plants will wither, you'll spill your drink, and then trip over your own feet. You'll fail your test, the heavens will open up and rain on your head, you'll lose your job, you'll oversleep, and then you'll fall out of bed.
And at the end of it all, you'll die. The worms will eat you, the bacteria will break you down into digestible components, and eventually someone will eat part of you in their salad. Your friends will die, your parents will die, your kids will die. The country you live in will fall, your building will be demolished, and the termites will eat what's left. The next ice age or maybe global warming will either flood your home or cause massive climate change and put you in a desert, depending on what's going on. Chances are, a giant meteor will slam into the Earth, things will explode, tsunamis will form, earthquakes will shake the ground, and, as the theory goes, throws a cloud of crap into the air, blanks out the sun, and kills all the photosynthetic life on the planet.
The sun will first expand into a red giant, bake all life off the face of the rock we live on, then contract into a white dwarf and everything will freeze over in the unforgiving vacuum of space. The only reason the sun doesn't go supernova is because it doesn't have enough mass to do so. The stars will burn out, shrink, explode, turn into black holes and suck light. Our galaxy will break apart or implode, who knows which, and the universe will either expand indefinitely, resulting in eventual heat death, or implode, but we're not really sure which yet.
And at the end of it all, no one cares. So deal with it, and get on with your life. Happiness is a choice, and I'm not going to cry for you if you choose to be a bitter, empty shell of a person. I might play the world's smallest violin for you, but that's as far as I'll go.
posted by Eric @ 8:02 AM
1 comments
